忘了她是谁～

读回之前的 blog post，发现我不记得 “X” 和 “Y” 是谁～ 想不起 “她” 是谁～ 看来我老了～

愚者 —— 路

尔乃是名愚者也。

智者，愚者与谣言

谣言始于愚者，止于智者；
愚者乃路也，智者乃歌也。

战争

人生如战场, 必经多场大小战时。
大战喻如人生的转点;
小战就如生活的琐事。。。

因为我傻！

• 有些话有很多机会说的，却想着以后再说，要说的时候，已经没机会了。
• 有些事有很多机会做的，却一天一天推迟，想做的时候却发现没机会了。

Lonely Christmas

this year Christmas is just another lonely Christmas for me~~~

the "LIKE" in Facebook

• I click it because I like it;
• I click it because it happen to me too;
• I click it because it touch my emotion;
• I click it because we having the same feeling.

是时候

是时候忘了以前，放眼将来；
是时候放下对方，留下美好；
是时候重新定位，从零开始；
是时候为了自己，不再忧伤。

---

¨°o.O Ä£®ïñ £êê™ O.o°¨

我对她起了爱意

• 我不该知道，
• 我不该去管，
• 我不该去听，
• 我不该去理。

My Mood~~~ 我的心情~~~

- few day ago~~~ 几天前的我
- while exam~~~ 考试中的我~~~
- yesterday night~~~ 昨晚的我~~~

Mid-Autumn Festival

the chinese Mid-Autumn Festival~~~ or so call mooncake festival~~~
this year, the celebration didn't me feel interested~~~

y???

I remain in the same programme after all

before i start my Diploma in Chemical Engineering, I having alot of choose which are
Business > Information Technology > Psychology > Physiotherapy > Internet Technology > Gaming Design > 3D Animation > Civil Engineering > Electrical Engineering > Mechanical Engineering > Chemical Engineering

y din choose those programme

• Business
  wat bussiness i can do??? kedai runcit??? lo... 100 % sure corrupt because of Tecso, Giant, Econsave... this all low price supermaket~~~


• Information Technology
  my relative said is a huge form of study, u need to get the infomation from time to time; once u stop u out~~~ quick make sense... and family din support me to study this field


• Psychology
  dunno y dun wan choose it~~~ haha...


• Physiotherapy
  quick big opportunity in Malaysia due to lack of those specialist in this field but they uni. that i apply din give me the scholarship so i said bye bye to it~~~


• Internet Technology
  have to update myself time to time... and family din support me to study this field~~~


• Gaming Design
  scholarship offered by uni. that i applied for but one of the reason i din choose is family din support and they said quick far from home~~ T____T


• 3D animation
  no reason, just went through my mind after the gaming design being rejected....


• Civil Engineeringto many competitive~~~


• Electrical Engineering
  wire = boring


• Mechanical Engineering
  Malaysia's mechanical??? er... better take automotive = to many competitive

finally i choose Chemical Engineering due to less competitive, high pay among the four main engineering, and i wan be difference from other~~~~

---

after few year of suffering from diploma (by meeting our "lovely" prof. << we love and hate the most and few other lecturer) and 3 month of study in degree (suffering from assignment, report, test, midterm, and exam)

I start to think again should i change~~~

again from
Computing > Gaming Design > Digital Animation > Architecture
til my current programme - Chemical Engineering

Reason to consider those programme 'and' (Reason to reject)

• Computing
  it look funny and nice XD (gaming design more nice XD)


• Gaming Design
  it my dream to desgin a computer game (expensive programme)


• Digital Animation
  someone join this programme after finish diploma~~~ and~~~ XD (she study at TOA << they need a hand-drawing which i not good on it~~~ basis one can la~~~)


• Architecture
  look at those architecture student project at UCSI, it look fun~~~ (but too many competitive~~~)

so back to my Chemical Engineering~~~ no other programme can change...

I still will graduate as Chemical Engineering at the end of yr 2013... if the world doesn't end at 2012~~~ haha....

the identity of Alrin Lee

ALRIN LEE -IS- SUFFERING-FROM-STUDY!!!

4 Dolls & 2 Roses since college live start

haha...
reliase that i have gift 4 dolls to 3 girls (MK, SN & XH)

1st is as MK's brithday present
2nd one is valentine's present together with 1 rose to XH
3rd one is as SN's brithday present
and
the 4th one is to XH... ^^ as her brithday's present~~~

and then the 2 roses just 2 girls only oh....
1st << forgot de
2nd wan is XH during Valentine... ^^

dunno got change sent the 5th doll and the 3rd rose bo??? haha

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自从上了学院，我一共送了4个洋娃娃和两支玫瑰给人。。。

第一个洋娃娃给了MK做为她的生日礼物；
第二个洋娃娃给了XH做为情人节礼物；
第三个洋娃娃给了SN做为她的生日礼物；
第四个洋娃娃给了XH做为她的。。。（不记的了）。

两支玫瑰送了给谁？？？
哈哈，第一支 << 不记的
第二支在情人节时，给了XH。。。 ^^

不知道可否送第五个洋娃娃和第三支玫瑰呢？也不知道谁会收到呢？？？

the identity of Alrin Lee

ALRIN LEE-IS- THINKING-WAT-HE-GIFT-BEFORE!!!

who you think you are?

idiot, really idiot la u all...

**** kyou...

idiot... said i drive dangerous but still dare to seat on my car, got so many car there, go seat other car la... stupid... next time u seat on my car same more and said i drive dangerous, i sure go hit anything that will bring him/her died... i dun care i will be injure event i need to sent my car recycle center!!!

some more dare to said exam come near, but still can go out and play on Monday but cannot go out on Thursday... stupid people... some more still facebook-ing... this call study for exam?!?! pei... idiot!!! really hope you can get lot of A in you exam!!! *dun hope for it la...!

idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you all think i so nice... ya ya ya... i front of you all la, I patient and nice... pei, i dun wan fight with you all only, u think what, every time also you all correct, i wrong ah?!?! or i should be ignore, no important, but you are important?!?! idiot, i still wan ask you: who you think you are?!?! Agong?!?! prime minister?!?!

---

now, you all answer me, who you think you are?!?! until i need to think about to you but you no need to think about me!!!

small advice to you all idiot and stupid, want other think about you first, you must first learn how to think about other!!!

25 Febraury - A day a life born and gone

25/02/1989 - 一个生命从母体上生下了，这个小娃娃是一个男生。

从小他就喜欢玩，也很听母亲的话，偶而他会顶撞她。

1996年 - 男孩进入了华小 - 甲洞一校。

在男孩十二岁小学毕业并于十三岁生上了中学，他的母亲同时也被告知得了末期癌症，这个青天霹雳的消息把那男孩的家人很大的打击。。。

医生是这么的说：她（男孩的母亲）最多可活多一至两年。

就这样，男孩的母亲开始了抗癌的旅程 - 开刀，打针，吃药。。。中医西医她都去看。。。她一一的尝试就是为了看到孩子的长大，毕业，结婚，生子。。。

男孩也经历了五年的中学教育并成功地进入了学院修读化学工程。

在这数年中，男孩的母亲一天比一天的虚弱，她也入院了好几次。。。每每都平安的度过。。。至到2009年2月中，男孩的母亲又入院了，男孩以为她这一次可以平安的度过，可是男孩错了。

24/02/2009，傍晚 - 男孩的母亲病情告重。

男孩当时还在学院。。。当他接到家人的电话，他开始察觉到了母亲不行了。。。

他驱车去了马大医院，这可是男孩首次驶上100km/h，也是男孩首次左右超车而不看车。

那一夜，男孩的母亲家属和父亲家属也到了。医生也告知男孩的家人，她将在这几天内去。。。

25/02/2009，凌晨 - 男孩的母亲与世长别。。。

2009年底，男孩总于完成了他学院生涯并顺出母亲的遗据续深造。

24/02/2010 - 男孩无法忘记他深爱的母亲，他怀念她的声音，她的厨艺，她的。。。

明天（25/02/2010）就是男孩的母亲的死忌了，也是他的生日。。。

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25/02/1989 - a young child born at hosp. Besar Ipoh

27/12/1990 - his sister born at hosp. Besar Kuala Lumpur

1996 - the young child start his education at a Chinese primary school - S.J.K. (C) Kepong 1

2001 - the young child graduate from his primary school and been told by doctor that his mother suffer with last stage cancer

2002 - the young child continuous his study at secondary school - S.M.K. Bukit Gading

2004 - the young child switch to S.M.K. Saujana Utama to continuous his study

2006 - the young child graduate from his secondary school

2007 - the young child choose to study Chemical Engineering (Diploma) at HELP International College of Technolog

24/02/2009, evening - his mother in a critical stage

25/02/2009, morning - his mother pass away

2009 - the young child graduate from his diploma

24/02/2010 - the young child still cant get out from the sadness of the gone of his mother...

---

妈妈，我爱你; mum, I love you as always

"Avoid"

the word - AVOID, it hurt me so deep and leave a deep cut in my heart...

---

• just a word but it hurt you
  
• when it come out from someone that you love
  
• and told you that he/she wanna to AVOID you...
  
• it really hurt...
• 
  
• just a word but it leave a deep cut in your heart
  
• when it no directly told from he/she
  
• but from one of your friend that he/she wanna to AVOID you...
• it really hurt...

---

• just a word but it so sharp, can leave a deep cut in the heart...
• just a word but it so emotional, can make people cry and sad...
• just a word but it so powerful, can slap people without a hand...
• just a word but it so... just a word - AVOID...

---

girl, next time tell me directly that you dont wan me fetch you la, no need to use avoid de...

feel lonely and sad....

with a very happy mood, i went to college and collate my letter of completion and then will go Jusco Bukit Tinggi watch movie

and wat i receive a bad news from yen yen that jack cancel the plan...

make me feel very sad and he din even inform me also until i sms him... lol... with few word that he think he can escape... lol.... if i got nothing to do and just come for that movie and u cancel it without inform me, i sure will come and find u and ... JACK CAREFUL!!!

---

on the way home, i thought alot in my mind and feel very lonely and sad and wan to cry.... thank to mei keat la... she so powerful alway make ppl sad only... dun know wat should said and wat should not... haiz... thank to her, i remember alot of sad story....

nothing, just me alone...

just as title... yupe is nothing... basically I have nothing... alone and still alone after so long and still alone...

I still alone in a dark room that have no light and no future...
future is nothing for me until now... i still have nothing...

some of you may feel i'm a lucky guy from what can see but inside I still feel like so so so damn empty and nothing, dark and black.

sometime, somehow - i feel like i wan to find her and tell her how deep i love her but somehow, some moment that is something dint follow what i wan... yupe... and i still alone and nothing...

a body without the soul - empty soul, yupe that me now...

---

*find-ing the light in a very dark room* : X... H...., I love you... and you are my light...

The day of all feeling come to me

I go with smile because of her, I reach and feel dissapointed because of her too, and I leave with sad also because of her.... all because of her!!!!

no one understand me, no one saw , and no one care when I cry... no one... all me alone...

I alone and sad... I alone and feel disappointed... I alone and got nothing... I alone and no one care about... I alone and still will be alone...

she wont care... she wont know... and soon she will feel happy when the moment I say I give up, I dun care and I will leave all this behind....

---

wish her hv a happy moment with her friend, family and herself...

something for her...

On that time this message wrote, i was emo-ing and feel-ing sad that every single invitation of me rejected by her and by look-ing her picture, I feel that the pain inside my heart are burned up...

---

既然爱上了你，我愿意顺从你；
我只求你能懂，我的心只有你；
你的一举一动能左右我的情绪；
你爱不爱都好，我从不抱怨你；
我只求天天能见你，无所他求；
与其换一个，也不见的比你好；
我只知道我爱你。。。

Fall in love with you, I'm willing to listen;
I hope you can understand my heart;
every single action of yours bring deep effect to my emotion;
no matter which you choose, I'll never complain;
I just hope I can see you every single day, nothing else that i hope for;
even if i chose one to replace you, no one would be better then you;
I only know I LOVE YOU...

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note : it came out as Chinese then i feel that she should know what i wrote, from that moment i start to translate it to English

thank you Stephanie, Nicholas and Sarah to give some ideal on finish-ing this translation...